I Heard What You Said, Just Not What You Meant

Listening is one of the most difficult things to do for many people.  It is especially difficult for people in sales.  Our mind is focused on what we are going to say and not what is being said to us.

Often the words register, but not the intent.  It is usually because we miss the subtle clues that reveal that intent because again, we are thinking about our response, or about our own message.  We miss the non-verbal, or we misunderstand context.

I learned a long time ago that I am most effective as part of a team.  This is just as important in selling as it is in many other aspects of life.  The bad thing is that my preference is to go it alone on most things.  I am comfortable with myself and being alone doesn't bother me as it does some.  I am perfectly happy with silence and no interruptions.

Learning how to work as a team takes practice and perhaps a bit of training.  We can train ourselves if we want, because it is a matter of learning to allow space for others.  Most people are so completely self-absorbed that they struggle to allow space for others.  It's "all about me" is becoming so ingrained into U.S. society, that to be anything else is an anomaly. 

Being part of a team is difficult because it means sharing the glory when we win and sharing the defeat otherwise.  We can't take all the credit and we have to accept the blame -- even if, in our mind, it wasn't our fault.  We need to realize though, that it is always our fault.  What do I mean by that?  I mean we must be proactive in our preparation, proactive in our planning, proactive in the team-building that will keep us, as a team, from anything but our best effort.

That doesn't mean heavy-handedness; it means caring.  We need to care as much for the success of others on our team as we do for our own.  Whoa, that one is tough.  I thought it was all about climbing over the bodies on the way up?  Wrong.  It is about taking as many with us as we can possibly get in the boat.

I suppose this post is a bit rambling, but maybe there is something here of value.  My main point was intended to be that we aren't very good listeners, but where I seemed to end up is that we are most effective as part of a team even though society is telling us otherwise. 

There's an old adage in sales that you should 1) tell them what you're going to talk about, 2) talk about it and then 3) tell them what you said.  Hopefully, since I fumbled the first point you will figure out what I meant....