Perspective

Sometimes keeping proper perspective is a matter of examining things through others point of view.  Things look very differently from the bottom looking up than they do from the top looking down.  This is important for managers to keep in mind when they interact with those below, or above, them in a corporate structure.  It is something every employee should consider.

The same could also be said for perspective based on age.  A child sees the world very differently from a teenager who sees it very differently from a young adult and so on until you, hopefully, see the world from the point of the aged who have a wealth of experience from which to draw that has helped to shape their view of things.  Growth and the passage of time changes how one views people, places, things and events.

Wealth is relative, but it also can change ones perspective.  If you are struggling to put food on your table you see the world very differently from someone who can't spend in a year what they make in a day.  Yes, there really are people who have that kind of money; they have no concept of poverty yet, they are often the ones who dictate policy.

When dealing with others, it is important that we take the time to try and understand their perspective.  Doing so has been one of the most valuable things I learned through the years.  It has served me well in management, in sales and in life.  I have to admit that I have not always been successful in my attempt to understand other perspectives, but the effort has always been rewarding.  People respect you for trying if done sincerely.

Conflict sometimes is the result of a failure to understand other perspectives.  When you find yourself in a situation where you are in disagreement with others, spend time seeking to understand their perspective.  Generally it will provide insight into why your views are different and sometimes even provide a pathway to resolving those differences.

The image at the top of this page was taken from an old bridge looking down into the water below at the reflection of the sky above.  In this single image there are three perspectives represented.  The first is from the bridge looking downward.  The second is from the water looking upward.  The third is less obvious, but it is from the bridge looking upward via the reflection in the water.

I think the lesson from the image is that we all will see more clearly if we focus upward.  If we keep our eyes on the Father we aren't looking down on anyone and we all will see essentially the same thing.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." -- Hebrews 12:2

Expectations Frame Perspective

The way we view events is often affected by our expectations.  It can be as simple as a storm which we see on the horizon.  We note the amount of lightening and the darkness of the color and think, "That's going to be a bad one."  Once it is over, we pass judgment with words such as, "That wasn't as bad as I expected," or, "Man, that was worse than I thought!"

On a slightly larger scale, our expectations affect our view of climate change.  Flooding in the Midwest this year is an example.  Those who are staunch believers that we are experiencing extreme weather events as the result of climate change see the flooding as a result of that change.  Those who are more skeptical, see the flooding as part of the cyclical nature of the world and point out historic flooding in times past.

What we fail to realize is that the same issue of expectations affects us in many other ways.  If we expect conflict to develop in a family gathering, it likely will do so simply because of how it affects perception of things said, or done.  That perception evokes reaction and the conflict begins.

It happens on social media too.  When we see a post from someone who typically thinks very differently than we do -- such as those of the opposite political persuasion -- we tend to react to it in a polarizing fashion rather than actually thinking about what they posted.  We immediately think, "stupid" liberal, or "ignorant" conservative rather than considering what they are really trying to say.  Admittedly, many such posts are meant to be somewhat provocative, but there is always an intellect of some kind behind them which is saying, "This expresses what I am thinking."

In business we often don't realize that a similar thing occurs.  When we present an idea, or a plan, we do so with expectations that the audience will see it the way we do.  That isn't always the case and we are faced with rejection.  Most people respond to rejection defensively.  The correct response is to be inquisitive.  Until you truly understand what is behind their rejection, you cannot effectively formulate a plan that will be successful, or frame your idea in such a way that it is understood.  We fail to clearly communicate because we are caught up in our own expectations.

Sometimes, our expectations get in the way of our success.  They cloud our ability to understand.  Our first response to rejection needs to be a question; "What is it that I don't understand?"  

Sometimes Silence Is Necessary

Are you ever asked a question which sends your mind spinning down multiple pathways so that it takes you a few seconds before you can respond?  Sometimes that happens to me.  I start drawing boxes around the question and opening doors and taking a look to see what's behind it and it sometimes takes a little time before I have mentally evaluated the multiple permutations to determine which direction I want to go with my response.  Sometimes it sends a weird message to the "asker" and of course, they can't stand the silence so they ask another question.

One of the most important things to learn in sales is that sometimes silence is necessary.  If you are doing your job properly, you should be asking questions and learning about your prospect.  Don't waste everyone's time detailing your product or service until you know best how it will "fit" for your prospect -- ask questions.  But, here's the crucial piece -- wait for their answer and listen deeply to their response.  If you are thinking about what you are going to say next, or are thrown off by a hesitation that causes silence, you will miss something critical.  Never interrupt your prospect -- and that includes their silence.  Wait for their response.

We don't normally think of sales people as being patient.  Some of the very best are extremely patient.  Not only are they patient, but they actually listen to what you are saying rather than scurrying down the path of their much practiced presentation.

Most of y'all who might read this aren't really interested in sales, but the same concept applies to conversation of any kind.  We all need to be more patient.  We should be comfortable with the occasional silence -- silence can move a conversation from "noise" to something meaningful.  We also need to learn to listen.  I do a better job of listening in sales than I do in normal conversation -- part of that is because in sales I am focused on taking my understanding to a deeper level -- in casual conversation I grow tired of inanities.  I am not good at just "noise" to fill the silence.  To me, silence is a sign of deeper connection.  It means a relationship is more than just acquaintance.

So, did you watch the big game last night?

Walls.

Walls.
In our minds.
In our hearts.
In our lives.

Walls.
In friendships.
In marriages.
In families.

Walls.
Physical.
Mental.
Emotional.

Walls.
Barriers.
Boundaries.
Barricades.

Walls.
Fences.
Bars.
Bricks.

Somebody hand me a sledgehammer!