The Mishap

Once upon a few years back, I worked for a rural, mixed-practice veterinarian. It was one of the ways I managed to earn enough to get through college. It was interesting work if for no other reason than the occasional mishaps that occurred. While working there I wrote the following poem (I kind of fancied myself as a cowboy poet). It is based on a true occurrence although slightly exaggerated. I call it:

The Mishap

I had an old cow with a bad cancer eye

That I hauled into town to the vet.

She was wild as a jackrabbit on a warm day

And could outrun a horse you can bet.

I pulled through the unloading area out back;

A new kid was running the gate.

We opened the trailer and the cow jumped right out

Blowin' snot and bellerin' her hate.

With considerable proddin' and a little finesse

She was headed right into the squeeze.

But, the kid on the headgate missed with the catch

And the old gal was gone with the breeze.

She couldn't get far 'cause the gates had been shut

And the place was designed for such things.

When lo and behold from the west end of the barn

We heard some terrified screams.

It seems the receptionist, much to her surprise

Had opened the door from up front

And come face to face with a one-eyed mad cow

Of whose rage she might be the brunt.

She dropped all the papers that she had been carrying

And jumped into an empty stall.

Just as you would guess, she left the door open

And the cow ran into the hall.

She charged right into the front waiting room;

By then Doc was close on her tail,

But the lady who sat there with the manicured poodle

Suddenly began to turn pale.

The poodle jumped up and crawled under the chair

But the lady was frozen with terror.

Doc had to work fast so he grabbed the cows tail;

He knew there was no margin for error.

Well, the tail did the trick and the cow spun around

And sent Doc flyin' through the air.

Then that old Hereford cow jumped over the counter

And smashed flat the front office chair.

Our luck finally turned, 'cause the cow saw her opening

And headed back out of the door.

Doc started tendin' to the sweet poodle lady

Who had fainted and fell on the floor.

We caught the old cow and Doc took her bad eye

Then began to clean up the mess.

That the kid who had first let the cow get away

Was concerned for his job, you can guess.

I loaded my cow after paying the bill

Which was only the standard fee.

Doc said, "There was nothing unusual about it.

It's just a normal day's work for me."