Friday, May 18, 2007
Once upon a few years back, I worked for a rural, mixed-practice veterinarian. It was one of the ways I managed to earn enough to get through college. It was interesting work if for no other reason than the occasional mishaps that occurred. While working there I wrote the following poem (I kind of fancied myself as a cowboy poet). It is based on a true occurrence although slightly exaggerated. I call it:
I had an old cow with a bad cancer eye
That I hauled into town to the vet.
She was wild as a jackrabbit on a warm day
And could outrun a horse you can bet.
I pulled through the unloading area out back;
A new kid was running the gate.
We opened the trailer and the cow jumped right out
Blowin' snot and bellerin' her hate.
With considerable proddin' and a little finesse
She was headed right into the squeeze.
But, the kid on the headgate missed with the catch
And the old gal was gone with the breeze.
She couldn't get far 'cause the gates had been shut
And the place was designed for such things.
When lo and behold from the west end of the barn
We heard some terrified screams.
It seems the receptionist, much to her surprise
Had opened the door from up front
And come face to face with a one-eyed mad cow
Of whose rage she might be the brunt.
She dropped all the papers that she had been carrying
And jumped into an empty stall.
Just as you would guess, she left the door open
And the cow ran into the hall.
She charged right into the front waiting room;
By then Doc was close on her tail,
But the lady who sat there with the manicured poodle
Suddenly began to turn pale.
The poodle jumped up and crawled under the chair
But the lady was frozen with terror.
Doc had to work fast so he grabbed the cows tail;
He knew there was no margin for error.
Well, the tail did the trick and the cow spun around
And sent Doc flyin' through the air.
Then that old Hereford cow jumped over the counter
And smashed flat the front office chair.
Our luck finally turned, 'cause the cow saw her opening
And headed back out of the door.
Doc started tendin' to the sweet poodle lady
Who had fainted and fell on the floor.
We caught the old cow and Doc took her bad eye
Then began to clean up the mess.
That the kid who had first let the cow get away
Was concerned for his job, you can guess.
I loaded my cow after paying the bill
Which was only the standard fee.
Doc said, "There was nothing unusual about it.
It's just a normal day's work for me."