Parrots, Pirates and Prompts...and Technology (which doesn't start with "P")

Today's topic from the Book of 300 Writing prompts is:  "If you had a pet parrot, what would you teach it to say?"

First I must address the issue of owning a pet parrot; I wouldn't.  I remember an uncle that turned up with pet birds a time or two.  They were interesting to me as a child, but confining a bird which is designed for the ultimate freedom of flight seems cruel to me.  It would be like having a horse and never letting it leave the stall.  It just doesn't seem right.

That being said, let's assume the parrot is a somewhat free-living companion that has chosen me for company -- much as a parrot perched on a pirate's shoulder.  That would seem acceptable to me.  The bird would be free to go at any time however, it would be loyal and accompany me because I'm such a good guy (this is all imaginary so, anything is game here).

Because the parrot had chosen to be my companion it would obviously be exceptionally intelligent (remember, I said this is imaginary).  I wouldn't have to teach it to talk, it would figure it out and in short time begin to articulate its own deeply insightful thoughts.

Unlike most parrots which speak in a rather loud and grating voice, this parrot would be able to whisper quietly in my ear as it perched on my shoulder.  It would give me market tips, betting tips, business tips and help keep watch on my surroundings.  That last of those items might perhaps be most important because having such an amazing parrot would make me -- and the parrot -- a target for those nefarious denizens of our world who would seek to appropriate that which is not theirs.

I would get one of those passes for a companion animal which would allow the parrot to accompany me anywhere.  After all, with such a valuable advisor I would quickly become dependent on it and might go into some kind of seizure were I not able to have it with me at all times.

One of the most important things about the parrot would be his discretion.  It would know when to keep its mouth shut.  After all, we wouldn't want the world to know my bad habits like playing computer games when I should be working.

I think the parrot would need a name and "Alexa" seems appropriate.  After all, technological innovations are merely a reflection of human ability -- a parrot -- sometimes magnified but, nevertheless, a product of human thought and activitiy.  The difference between my parrot and the commercial product named Alexa is that what my parrot saw, heard and recorded into its memory would stay right there (see previous paragraph) rather than be stored in some massive database to be mined by analytic software for commercial and other opportunity.

I think upon reflection, I will forego the parrot and even more importantly, an Alexa.  I'll punch the buttons on my television remote myself rather than having an electronic slave do it for me....