First Fantasy Baptist Church

Welcome to the First Fantasy Baptist Church
Read the sign over the door --
At least that's what I was looking for.

Instead I found that once inside
The fantasy I was seeking had died
And in its place were real people.

I expect to be entertained!
Crank up the music;
Put on a show.

But in its place was much too loud
And slightly off key in a place or two
And a prayer that lasted way too long.

Oh, but surely the preacher
Will move me in my pew
And make me see the Pearly Gates.

But about 12:10 as he was finally winding down
The realization set in that
All I got was the same old sermon on gettin' saved.

What's wrong with churches nowadays?
Don't they know that they've got to keep our attention
Or we'll go on down the road?

They expect us to put something in the plate
And be greeters or maybe teachers
Or help out in the nursery.

I even saw a Deacon at the liquor store the other day
And he was leaving with a brown paper bag
Yet they expect me to go visit people?

They're just a bunch of hypocrites in there
That cheat on their taxes
And make too big a profit down at the store.

I think I'll just drop out.
I don't need a church like that.
I can get better on T.V.

Those people outta start livin' like it says in The Good Book.
You know, love your neighbor
And give to the poor.

Why would they expect me to go there
If they can't live
The way The Good Book says?

Besides, they act better'n me.
They all wear fancy clothes
And drive big cars.

Why don't they share some of that wealth?
I could sure do something with it!
I'd give half of it away!

I'll just sit here and listen to the T.V. preacher.
He's better anyway.
They won't even come and visit me.

They're just a bunch of hypocrite holy rollers.
I won't waste my time on them.
Besides, the football game starts at 11:30.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not die but have everlasting life." __ John 3:16